Carpet Cleaning On A Note
Every year, without fail, the week after the BRIT Awards is the busiest week of my calendar. Not the week of the awards – the week after. The calls start on the Thursday morning, occasionally the Wednesday night if the party went on particularly long, and by Friday I’m booked solid through the weekend. I…
There’s a particular type of phone call I’ve come to recognise over the years. It comes from a number I don’t have saved. The voice on the other end is unhurried – not rude, just accustomed to being waited for. There’s a slight pause before they get to the point, as though they’ve had to…
I’ve cleaned offices where I wasn’t allowed to touch the computers. I’ve cleaned kitchens where I wasn’t allowed to move the cookware. I’ve cleaned walk-in wardrobes where I was told not to breathe near the vintage leather. But nothing quite prepares you for the first time you walk into a home recording studio in Notting…
Mayfair, six in the morning. The streets are empty, the doormen are half-asleep, and the only people moving are the ones who never really went to bed and the ones like me – arriving to deal with the aftermath of both. I pulled up outside a Park Lane-adjacent block last spring, gear loaded in the…
Every year, without fail, the week after the BRIT Awards is the busiest week of my calendar. Not the week of the awards – the week after. The calls start on the Thursday morning, occasionally the Wednesday night if the party went on particularly long, and by Friday I’m booked solid through the weekend. I…
There’s a particular type of phone call I’ve come to recognise over the years. It comes from a number I don’t have saved. The voice on the other end is unhurried – not rude, just accustomed to being waited for. There’s a slight pause before they get to the point, as though they’ve had to…
I’ve cleaned offices where I wasn’t allowed to touch the computers. I’ve cleaned kitchens where I wasn’t allowed to move the cookware. I’ve cleaned walk-in wardrobes where I was told not to breathe near the vintage leather. But nothing quite prepares you for the first time you walk into a home recording studio in Notting…
Mayfair, six in the morning. The streets are empty, the doormen are half-asleep, and the only people moving are the ones who never really went to bed and the ones like me – arriving to deal with the aftermath of both. I pulled up outside a Park Lane-adjacent block last spring, gear loaded in the…
When a Fancy Rug Just Can’t Be Rescued I once stepped into a penthouse in Mayfair where the carpet looked like it had seen more parties than the back room of a dodgy nightclub. Champagne spills, red wine splashes, muddy footprints that looked suspiciously like they belonged to a Great Dane — it was all…
It’s Not Just a Mop and Bucket Job – It’s Mission Bleedin’ Impossible I’ll never forget the first time I cleaned for a celebrity in Kensington. I turned up with my bucket, Henry hoover, and a bacon bap, only to be met by a six-foot-five bloke with sunglasses, an earpiece, and the kind of jawline…
You’d be amazed what you find behind the scenes of fame. I’ve been a professional cleaner in London for more years than I care to count, and these days most of my clients are the ones you hear on the radio or see swanning down red carpets. But while the front-facing side of celebrity life…
I’ve been a professional carpet cleaner in London for longer than I care to admit, and over the years, I’ve scrubbed, steamed, and shampooed my way into some of the most famous homes in the country. You’d be surprised at how many A-list musicians need a bloke like me to rescue their carpets from the…